Introductions

Welcome to Manifest Spontaneity!  (It's an aspirational title.) I am Vajra Sun, and I'll be your narrator and navigator for my life.  If you'd like to read more about what I'm up to with this blog please hop on over to the Beginnings and Vision page. 

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My Lion's Roar

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I’ve just come off of an all-too-familiar fiction binge.  This time it was the last two books in Margaret Atwood’s Maddaddam series followed by Octavia Butler’s Earthseed sequence.  I have a penchant for the semi-dystopian speculative writing of women, it would seem.   But what’s this feeling of fecundity? Of richness?  Of just-about-to-be born?  I don’t have XX chromosomes so the likelihood that I will go through labor to birth a child is low.  Maybe I’m not acknowledging the labor I need to go through to birth the progeny of my heart.  How many beautiful minds have I made love with to gather the genetic seeds of this child, these children (what if they’re twins or triplets?)?  So many.  Carse.  Butler.  Le Guin.  Atwood.  Trungpa. Mipham the Great.  Mipham the Sakyong.  Blake.  Choleridge.  Hayward.  Whitehead.  Wittgenstein.  Varela.  Gentner.  Rosch.  Jam...
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Self-Loathing OR Chaos is Good News

Sometimes I feel betrayed by my own mind.  Right now is one of those times.  Coming back from the wedding last weekend and this entire week, I’ve felt like I overcame some basic obstacle.  I felt energized, and doing the work that I needed to do felt like turning on a faucet.  In the places I’ve lived, it’s been a given that when you turn on the faucet water comes out.  And it’s drinkable.  When I’m full lost in doubt, I hesitate to even touch the knob for fear that maybe nothing will come out or maybe bad water will come out.  Last Friday one of the other instructors for our sitting group was giving the instruction and she began by asking people to describe in a few words how they were feeling at that very moment.  The words that I chose were ‘unobstructed aliveness’.  She then asked me how it felt in my body to which I said that it felt like substantial-ness in the core of my torso with a feeling of buzzing out in my limbs.  As I sa...
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My out-dated future self

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About a year and a half ago my friend and editor told me that she’d like to see me write a piece on my life journey/direction and how finding and practicing the Shambhala teachings has influenced my trajectory.  At the time, that writing project seemed attractive, but daunting and I told myself (and her) that I really didn’t have time to do it right then.  From one point of view that’s true.  I could also say that I don’t have the time right now.  There are too many other things to do.  Finishing my dissertation.  Finding a career direction.  Establishing myself in a new city.   But when I look honestly, the truer reason that I don’t want to write that piece right now is that the course correction is still in progress.  I don’t now what I want to become, what career path I want to take, what role I want to take in shifting the cultural currents of today.  I do not know. Sculpture by Jamie Salmon, accessed at  https://www.tren...
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